There is still feeling of unrest that comes from deep within my chest. Like a rock that sits where my heart is supposed to be. I am emotionally unstable. I went from happy to mad to sad in a matter of minutes.
Why am I still being dealt all the shitty cards of the deck? Shouldn't I feel better now that all of this is "over?" Shouldn't I feel as though a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders? Shouldn't I feel warm and fuzzy when I look in the mirror? Shouldn't this be the time where I bounce out of bed bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, look at the world and shout "Bring it on!"
This may come as news to many people out there, but I am not happy. I feel as if weight has been added, not removed from my shoulders. I feel cold as ice and black as tar when I look in the mirror. I move sluggishly throughout the day. I wear only dark clothing, I think a reflection of my inner self.
2 comments:
I think the real question is, where do you go from here? I don't know that I would expect you to have immediate relief now that we're at the end.... it was a long road coming, and will take time to pass.
Take it day by day, maybe?
-Lisbeth
I wish the best for you. But the thing is that is the hardest to go by is the lies that where told from the beginning to the end. I wish that you are able to find the comfort within you. But remember that this will be with you for some time until others will come out with the truth. This is not the end and never will be because I know the Terpenings and that they are hard fighters and do not back down. This is not the end of the case by any means. Just to let you know it was not you that Katie was flipping off. It was the three next to you. Hope you have a good day. And keep that chin up.
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