All my life...

All my life I wanted to grow up to be something amazing. I guess that really didn't happen considering the spot I am in my life right now. Although, I could hardly call myself grown up. They say that all good things come to those that wait. I am waiting....

Jennifer has been really good to me. She has given me a place to live and food to eat with the expectation that I am going to make something of myself. Like finding a job and getting my drivers licence.

To live up to her expectations, I am going to have to live up to my own. But part of me thinks that her expectations are greater than my own. She expects a lot, as she very well should.

I am going to stay off drugs this time. Finally starting to feel better from the withdraws. Headaches 24/7 and the runs. When I am done, I am done. I dont need to feel like this everytime I want to get high. This is some shit.

Marijuana occasionally, I think, will be a good thing. It makes me happy. It makes me eat (which is a very good thing considering my weight!) LOL!

But they do say that marijuana is a gateway drug. It was for me. It started off with weed. Then I started drinking. When I was drunk I started using cocain. When I was on cocain, it made my nose hurt, so then I tried to smoke heroin. Smoking heroin gave me major headaches. So then I got introduced to shooting up heroin. That was fantastic. I loved the stuff. It made me feel great... until I was coming down.