Greetings Earthlings!

What does it matter who I am now? What matters of who I am to become. How to live by destiny, if one makes your own choice? Three fold back onto your evil deeds. Love yourself before you can love others.

Its a small world after all....

Him

I forgive you.

Ears-still-wet

Honestly find something better to do with your time. You are broken as it is, I hate to see you shatter when what you support is a horrible thing. Or may you be to ignorant to realize such things.

Felonious

I love you dearly. But one question remands on everyones mind. Why the fuck are you here? I am guessing for moral support of some kind. If thats the case I couldn't have picked better.

Alpha

You know what is right. You know why you are doing it. You must protect yours. If that is the case, I will protect mine. You always told me to forget the past and seek the future. How can take that advice from you when you don't do the same? A bit hypocritical don't you think?

L is for Love

Love is that feeling that doesn't go away no matter how hard you try. Love makes you want to cry, waiting up until four in the morning eating ice cream watching Titanic. Love is when you eat the best fried chicken in the world made while you were dancing in the kitchen. Love makes you laugh hysterically because someone tripped over their own shoelace. Love is watching the rainbow after the storm as the birds come out from hiding. Love is the last piece of chocolate cake, moist and delicious, chocolate sauce dripping and the light steam rising as you cut it with your fork. Love is when you are woken up in the morning with a kiss on your forehead or a hug when you are tucked in at night. Love is when you would do anything and everything for someone just to see them smile a big toothy grin. Love is wishing someone a safe trip before they leave you, knowing that you will never see them again in your entire life. Love is that single tear that is shed over a dog who was a part of your family for as long as they were alive. Love is arguing over the remote with your siblings when you don't want to watch Sponge Bob. Love is yelling at someone because of a wrong, then making up as you both say how it was my fault and not yours. Love is painting a picture with watercolors and giving it to a teacher who just lost a friend. Love is giving your last dollar to a boy who wanted to buy a candy bar. Love is when you are held down to when you slit your wrist because you were meant to live. Love is when you a given a birthday card that made your year and still hangs on the fridge. Love is when you walk after someone so the bridge wont be burnt. Love is when someone cares enough about you to see you go. Love makes you warm on the coldest winter day, as snow stings your face and the wind rips through your hair as you make a snowman. That is what love is to me.

Speed writting...

I never knew that you would lie to me. Did you really think that I was that fucking stupid? I might shed a few tears, but I don't really care. I wanted you to take me away, like in my dreams, but you left and now I am just living a nightmare. Frozen in  time, walking, talking, falling. The world is my own prison. You looked into my eyes and lied to my face. How would that make you feel? I thought that you could see through me. I was right. Still wondering how you do that shit. You let me win, ride, rock and slide. You know when I am lying, see when I am crying; but still do nothing. I start screaming. You get the reaction that you wanted. But now that you have, I must confess. I was fronting. You hate me and love me for the same reason. You need something to believe in. You need to feel something that you aren't getting for your own pathetic existence. Are you looking for a hero? Someone to come save the day? Someone to tell you that everything is right? I am not the one boo. I wish I could rip out a page of the book that makes up my memories. I can't wait to get through this. Its like a phase. My patience is running out. Don't want to be enemies. Life is a mystery. Its hard to believe I am lonely with people all around. But I can believe it. I pushed them out, yes I did. And no no one is getting in. They can throw rocks at the castle all fucking day long, and I am not coming down. Not like that would prove anything though, besides the stubbornness of this writer. But even that has some credibility in my book. I have always believed one thing true, its that life sucks and then you die. I take that to heart. I am not sure how much longer I can continue with the drugs and the eating disorder without killing myself. That is the whole goal with both of them. Then when I die, everyone can blame my death on that and not me just passively suicidal. I honestly need to grow the balls and backbone and do it myself. Thought about it. Doesn't seem like a viable option at this point.

Bittersweet

I know that you are lying and you are probably going to deny it. You think that you can hide it, guess what? You can't! You think that you are so smooth. I'm not going to act like I can't see. I see everything, more than you think I do. Please don't you play like I don't know you, you are only lying to yourself. I already called your bitch, she's my go-to when I am trying to find out about you. You think you are so slick, but you make me so sick. Lately, you have been in your own world, said you was with your friends. So, I sent them a text, just to be respectful. She replied that she hasn't seen you in awhile. I want you to know that you can cut the bullshit.

Something about something

I don't need rehab, it has too strong a hold.
I need sleep, it keeps me up all night.
I have an obsession.
Can you guess what it is?
I see it in my dreams and when I am awake.
I see it down the ally and in the closet.
I hear it in phone calls and see it online.
It is hard to forget.
I think about it all the time.
It is in my heart and mind.
It takes over my soul.
The grip is deadly.
I am suffocating.
I hate it, but it loves me.
I think it sucks, my friends agree.
I would be happy and glad without it.
But I see it going no where.

Maybe....

Are you going to be there when its over?
Are you going to stay by our sides?
Will you disappear?
Will you still love me?
Have you always loved me?
Did you lie?
I am hurt by you.
You made me feel good.
You ripped it away.
You made me smile.
Now I frown.
You made me laugh.
Now I cry.
You hugged me when I needed it.
You kissed me when I wanted it.
You looked at me like I was the only one in the world.
You took my heart.
You felt my soul.
You walked away.
Now I am standing here.
I look at your picture.
My heart was on my sleeve.
You stomped on it.
You crushed it.
You manged it.
Have you no compassion?
Have you no kind words anymore?
Am I really that insignificant that you would leave me?
It was real for me.
I was there in body and spirit.
I trusted you.
I wanted you.
I needed you.
You lost me.
The love is gone.
Its tragic.
I will be ok.