Advice

Don't touch a pan after frying eggs. It's hot!
Don't forget where you hid the Easter eggs.
Make cookies often and with chocolate.
Pray if you remember.
An incorrect amount combination while making macaroni and cheese can be hazardous.
Save your heart for someone that's worth dying for.
Always put the toilet seat down if there is a lady in the house.
Have a plan, going in unprepared leads to disaster 97% of the time.
Going ice skating when there's only been snow a week will make you cold.
Laughter is the best medicine. *thank you reader's digest!*

updates

It has been sometime since I've posted here. I haven't exactly had access to an adequate keyboard. Pish posh.

Christmas is soon and it appears I have a family now. I'm a bit perturbed by this, I expect them to walk out at any moment without notice. I too, fear I may do the same. It would be nice if I went missing for awhile.

I went to Chinese with my family last week. I had a wonderful time. The waitress told me in a thick accent that I'm a good man. I'm not sure what voodoo went on because following that, a fortune cookie said I should stop procrastinating on my travels. I would like to please the cookie, but cannot. When you walk everywhere you go, Seattle seems very very far away. The damn fortune cookie didn't take into account my lack of wheels or funds.

Donations to the 'HELP OUT A BROKE BROTHER FUND' can be sent to... haha I'm just kidding. Hopefully a job is in my near future. I would like to get in at Boyne Mountain in good ol' Michigan. *fingers crossed* >:)

Faces O,o

"Whoa. That was unexpected." Those were my thoughts as I heard the judge read the verdict.

Although I did, and still don't want Mike to go to jail because of me, it seems to me that the verdict nulls me of any responsibility regarding Mike's trial or prosecution. If the charges against him from me were found not guilty, I don't have a living soul to speak to about this nor should any of y'all going around running your god damned dick beaters about things that you know absolutely nothing about. Ha.

Part of me is happy that he is in custody. The other part of me still worries about those kids. Oh and don't get me started about Twerpalina. Dug her own grave. <I think I have said that before. LOL>

I have roads ahead of me. I need to go see the doctor, and get this whole college thing figured out. Should be of more interesting things to come. ;D

I think I may start to write short stories or something, I realized I really need a hobby. I thought I could take up crocheting. That would be a catch wouldn't it? A young strapping lad, such as myself, to crochet in the waiting room while I am waiting for the nurse at the doctor's office to call my name.

I kinda have no choice but to laugh at this one. xD

Falling....

I am on the edge of a canyon, looking down hundreds of feet to the tiny winding river below. I feel the wind blowing on my back. The heated air whips across my neck. It burns. I glance behind and see the people behind me, all with looks of horror on their faces. They know. I see the other side of the canyon, red earth getting beat down on by the sun and my neck. My lips are dry and cracked from lack of water. I hear vultures squawking above, circling as they await their next meal. I also hear the people behind me screaming how much they love me. I hear them yelling at me, begging me, pleading with me. I don't listen. I never listen. I jump.

mirror...

There is still feeling of unrest that comes from deep within my chest. Like a rock that sits where my heart is supposed to be. I am emotionally unstable. I went from happy to mad to sad in a matter of minutes.

Why am I still being dealt all the shitty cards of the deck? Shouldn't I feel better now that all of this is "over?" Shouldn't I feel as though a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders? Shouldn't I feel warm and fuzzy when I look in the mirror? Shouldn't this be the time where I bounce out of bed bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, look at the world and shout "Bring it on!"

This may come as news to many people out there, but I am not happy. I feel as if weight has been added, not removed from my shoulders. I feel cold as ice and black as tar when I look in the mirror. I move sluggishly throughout the day. I wear only dark clothing, I think a reflection of my inner self.

Resent

I guess this is the time when I am supposed to say something absolutely stunning, brilliant, deep, heartfelt, and compassionate. Well, honestly, I don't have a god damned thing to say to any of you. You couldn't get more love or compassion out of a fucking rock than I. Utterly bewildered as to why you go and do all of that shit for a fucking liar. Please. Get a grip on reality as well as find yourself some fucking dignity. Get out from underneath that little rock, get your head out of your ass and open your eyes to see the light.

Wow. That felt good.

I guess I feel sorry for those kids. Not to mention Amanda, but she kinda dug her own grave on that one. Hate to be the one that has to go to sleep with that on their mind.

Well what about Mike? Did you love him? I don't see how that is relevant at court anyhow, other than to make me uncomfortable. That's not plausible. The jurors asked me that, and not that little twit of a lawyer. God, he makes me madder than a midget with a yo-yo.

Jamie, a yellow flower. Means friendship. That's about as far as I am going to go with you. I am not even sure you want that. :Honestly don't really give a flying fuck. Remember karma? The three-fold law? It's going to suck for you, and quite a few others.

And when that day comes, where y'all are going to face your own, I want to be there. I want to watch your crumble to your knees. I am going to laugh.

its like rain....

Interesting things in store for the near future. I am ill at heart for all of those affected, realizing how much of it is my fault despite the honest reality of the situation. I thought about trying to make it all go away. No choice but to let the judicial system take its course. I can only do one thing, tell the truth. Any person who wishes or may have wished me to say anything but the truth does not have me in mind, only their own selfish interests at heart.

I would very much like to escape from reality for a little bit. You know, go away and never come back. I have fantasized about growing wings or acquiring some sort of super power that allows me to get out of this. Once again, reality sets in. I realize that I cannot grow wings and fly away. I realize that I cannot disappear off the face of the earth by becoming invisible to the worlds eye. Such things are simply out of the realm of possibility.

Telling the truth is a lot harder than anyone could have imagined. To incriminate another because of wrongs not only removes him, but also removes all of those in support of him. It removes all of the people who said that they care about me. It removes all of the people who said that they love me. It removes all of the people who said that they have had my best interests at heart since the beginning. If that would be the case, they would be behind me right now, only wanting me to say the truth. This is not the case. People deviate from "love" for their own blood or creed.

For I was nothing but another child in the foster care system. I can't blame people for sticking with what they have always known. I am a fool to think that I could change a person. I am a fool to think that my heart would be protected.

Throughout all of this, I have learned many lessons. The most important, I think, that the only person that I can count on now is me. I am the only one that is always going to say I love you when I look in the mirror. I am the only person that is going to have my back when the world turns away from me. I can never count on someone else to support me in times of trouble.

I was deeply saddened when I came to that conclusion. I would have thought that there would be more heart and compassion from others. Granted, I have seen quite a bit of that in this past year in the unlikeliest of places. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

Who am I to blame but myself? I have hurt others. I have lied. I have stolen. I have cheated. I have failed. I have regreted. I have apologized. I have been removed from lives, like a piece of cancer being removed from a patient. I have been the one who I despise the most. Despite all of that, I still love me.

Greetings Earthlings!

What does it matter who I am now? What matters of who I am to become. How to live by destiny, if one makes your own choice? Three fold back onto your evil deeds. Love yourself before you can love others.

Its a small world after all....

Him

I forgive you.

Ears-still-wet

Honestly find something better to do with your time. You are broken as it is, I hate to see you shatter when what you support is a horrible thing. Or may you be to ignorant to realize such things.